It's the first day of school again. And while I felt like this day was the point I was working toward all summer (I always have to be working toward something) today I cross the finish line with tears in my eyes. Today my 5th grader and 2nd grader went to school and left me at home. A glimpse of things to come.
What is surprising is how difficult for my already fragile psyche, it was for me to see some of the other children I know. SG came to this school as a kinder and we have watched the kids in her grade and those above and below grow and become adventurous, little, almost-people. Now, as I watch some of my dear friends send their children to middle and high school, I know that my turn to do the same will be here in an instant. As I watched the cars streaming up the hill toward the middle school I thought how these parents, who only recently had strapped their car seats in that same car to carry their brand new baby home from the high school, were now entering the next phase. Like a long line of baby buggies in SUV form the cars went up the hill - loaded with anxious 6th graders and more emotional parents.
Her time will be here in 365 days. But today I cry and pray. I cry for the passing of time and the blink of an eye that will be my life with them. I pray because I honestly don't know if I will be able to do the things they need me to do most.
Letting go is tough - especially to the things you want to hold onto the most.
